"I'm Lost, Please Help Me" Part Four

Album release musings

I’m changing how I experience releasing my art. And there are a few things I’m taking away after the last few months…

This Friday night, I’ll be breaking a long tradition. I will NOT be falling onto the sofa at the end of release week slightly disappointed, emotional, with a pizza and a cold drink. For sure, this campaign has, despite some milestone successes, felt like banging against a glass ceiling again.

But this time, I’m going to celebrate all the energy that went into the last year, and go and dance with some friends.

Still lost, not alone

I feel confident I’ve hit release week in a better mental state than I have before, maybe ever. And I’m proud of that.

Talking about it publicly has been interesting and I really do see “lostness” as a good place to be. It’s still a little scary, but outweighed by positivity, especially understanding that it’s a collective experience. Talk about it with your people.

Promoting records as an independent artist can be pretty demoralising.

The outcomes and data can be disheartening. Every part of the music industry seems to be tearing at the seams. So making your own project the most important thing in lots of people’s lives at the precise time and place you want, it is very hard.

Magazines and music sites are really struggling

Music writing is now mostly supported by writers working for nothing. There’s too much music, not enough readers, funds for writers or space. The genuinely influential platforms are few. Which seems wild as we probably need more guidance than ever to weave through the mass.

Algorithmic discovery has separated a lot of us from each other and from larger cultural moments.

I really long for more broad church publications that deliver surprises with funny, astute and interesting personalities behind the words.

We’re in a time of abundant brilliance

We are surrounded by incredible, jaw dropping talent and ideas. Honest, new voices, from every part of the world, borne of devotion, anger, mistakes and foolishness aka humanity.

If AI could be afraid, it should be.

The only real control we have is over our emotional well being

This time I promised no sadness from frustrations around numbers, reach, radio plays, marketing in general. I wanted to find ways to enjoy the process and come out the other side smiling.

Making music is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever had the pleasure of being a part of. Promoting it is like pushing flowers through a sewage pipe.

But we all live here and we all deserve to see the flowers.

I’ve tried not to overthink. If I needed to communicate something, I posted about it. If there was a chance something could connect me with even one person who cared, I just got on with it. When I wanted to just make music, I made music (and of course recorded it, filmed it, edited it, wrote a thing about it and posted it).

It has not been as cringe or as morally compromising as I’d feared, in fact, it has been generally positive and connected me with you, among others.

Thank you Siofra for telling me to just do it. It was the best advice.

Keeping the promise

One thing that helped was finding things to post that make me happy, I like sitting in fields playing guitar. I like spending an hour writing purely for fun in my studio. The algorithm didn’t warm to it, but I definitely did and so did you. And you are who matters in all of this.

When I was struggling to remain true to my promise, when the online hours were insidiously overtaking the things I love, I finally decided to shut down my phone and I went off to the woods for a couple of nights.

I wandered aimlessly, I stopped when the sun hit my face, or something was too beautiful to just pass, or the sound of the woods awed me and I hung in that moment longer than I needed to.

I remembered my purpose

When I was struggling to remain true to my promise, I booked more gig tickets and I went to the shows and I was inspired by creative brilliance. When I was too tired/busy to go, I went anyway.

Whether it was Lorenz Okello fearlessly solo improvising on piano and synth in a bookshop, Eska reciting the names of the Grenfell dead over the sounds of dozens of mobile phones streaming Tubular Bells chaotically from the audience, or Kahil El Zabar bringing god-like presence and meditative beauty to the Church of Sound. Every experience restored me.

I bumped into old friends and connected about lostness because of what I’d shared online. I had conversations with strangers on the dance floor. I made and met with new friends.

I pushed myself to be and do all the things that make me uncomfortable. Sometimes I failed, mostly I did not.

I have to thank my CBT therapist for giving me some of the tools to handle this too. Thank you NHS.

We need to see each other

My friend Daudi said yesterday that we’re in the “inspiration business” and I love it.

I post things and write things because I believe that too.

We’re making heartfelt art and beautiful things. However dirty the places are that we share them, we need to see each other and hear each other, to keep this energy moving forward and defeat those that would reduce it, restrict it or remove it.

I did this

So this Friday, I’ve invited friends to come up to the BBE store and drink and dance to music played by Patrick Forge, cos he always lifts my spirit with his selections.

It won’t be about promoting the record (although I might carry a couple if you happen to see me). It will just about saying to myself “I did this” and then being with the mates that always inspire me to push on.

It’s to remember what music is always supposed to be about - joy and connection.

Please help me

This is where I actually ask for help…

Bring Our Light To Every Corner is out tomorrow (Friday 26th June). I don’t make much stuff I do transactional cos I think the exchange of album for money is still kind of perfect. So please support my music if you can. Go to your record shop and ask for it. Find it at Juno, Sounds of the Universe, Banquet, Phonica and many more.

ALSO

Tonight (Thursday 25th) I’m having a listening party on my YouTube channel at 8pm. I’d really love you to join us for the first full play through.

Thank you,

Adam

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